Guy Fawkes Day and Halloween

 So maybe we celebrate our holidays a little early. Guy Fawkes Day, a British holiday celebrating Parliament NOT getting blown up by Guy Fawkes and his comrades in opposition to King James I, is really November 5th. But we learned about it last week in school, so we had to have a party on Saturday. Why? Because on Guy Fawkes Day, also known as Bonfire Night, you get to burn an effigy of Guy Fawkes. Usually it's a straw man thrown onto the bonfire. We opted to make marshmallow men, and then turn them into smores. When you think about it, it's a more gruesome ending to poor Guy Fawkes, but I think that was over most of the children's heads. They were just happy to be having smores. We also had some traditional English pottage, yummy bread, and, salad, and parkin, a bready molassey cake. We also watched a short video about Guy Fawkes and colored worksheets.

Elliot and his exploding smore.

The roasters lined up at the grill.

I love this little boy.

Evelyn's marshmallow man.

The girlfriend, remember?

And pictures from the school week. After church on Sunday, Ruby tried to fit into this dollhouse.

Today at lunch. This is really Ruby every meal. She wins messiest child award.

Dottie turned her toy/book armoire into a reading nook.

Vinegar and baking soda experiment.

This is when we used lemon juice in place of vinegar. We thought it would pop off the balloon!

Guess who pooped on the potty? This girl!!

I'm so grateful that I am doing better this fall compared to last fall. Last year, I couldn't even put up decorations. So it was nice to celebrate the fall this year! The kids were very excited!

My little turkeys' hands.

Mom, this witch is still going strong, despite the damage when it was originally sent, remember?

Week 3 of the great experiment

 So I don't know if I've mentioned this before, but I decided at the beginning that I was going to take Fridays off from homeschooling. Now, I am incredibly grateful I made that decision.

You cover a lot of material in a home school day. Honestly, I know it. For example, math. Dottie is on lesson 30 of math. This is because I knew she knew a lot of the beginning of the book, so I had her do the worksheets in her book until she came to a concept she didn't understand. We came to that point yesterday, so I'm finally teaching her. Yes, there is still a lot of review, but that's okay. I know I've saved her at least a month of wasted reviewing.

Anyway. Back to Fridays. It's really hard to get things done during the school week. I have two kids to teach, and one to keep entertained while the others are learning. It is so hard to keep my house clean or to go to the store without completely disrupting our learning groove. Maybe I will get better at this, but as of right now, I have to do all of these things on Friday or the weekend. So, I'm glad I made the decision to keep Fridays free. They are still learning a-plenty, and I know I have one day where I can feel in control of the messes that happen from having 3 children at home, always.

Monday, I let the kids make their own pizzas. Dottie and Elliot made heart-shaped ones. Ruby ate a bunch of dough, so I had to take over for her.

Showing their pizzas. Yes, we are in various stages of dress (or undress). This is what happens when you're home all the time. Don't ask me where Elliot found Dottie's old night gown. And good thing Ruby's got the troll belly goin' on.

Tada!

I've turned over the piano instructing to Joe. He's a musician, right? He can do this part of homeschooling. This is Elliot's first lesson, where he's learning his finger numbers.

We're getting creative with what to do with these two while Dottie does focused study, like history. The monkeys are painting.

Another science experiment: the volume of sugar goes down when mixed with water because the sugar molecules fit in more densely with the water molecules.

So, I've been to two different libraries this week, mostly for Ruby's sake. On the way back from the one yesterday, I caved and bought McDonald's. This bribe is how I got Ruby to stop pulling books and DVDs off the shelves.

Another great perk of homeschooling? Free child labor! Just kidding. But I do like being able to have the time to teach the kids new skills, like how to peel carrots.

I haven't been very systematic with Elliot's math. I teach him something every day, but without a real plan. Today I taught him how to count by fives using this abacus.

Another week down

 So, we've done another week of school. The favorite part of school is the science experiments we do twice a week. This one was a big hit with the kids. We poured vanilla extract, mint extract, and almond extract into the balloons to see if the molecules of these substances were smaller than the molecules of the balloon. If we could smell them, the molecules were smaller, because the molecules could travel through the balloons. It worked for all of them. In fact, for the almond extract, the molecules were so much smaller that you could actually feel it seeping out. That balloon stopped smelling after a few hours.

Smelling the balloons.

The blue balloon, which had mint extract, broke after a few minutes. We're not sure what caused it, a flaw in the balloon itself or the extract.

Blurry hand! That mint balloon sure smelt good!

My boy drawing an illustration of the experiment.

Dottie recording her observations of the experiment.

What I said before about Ruby still holds true; we need to do things like science while she slumbers.

Dottie asked me if she could eat lunch and do her history worksheets at the same time...of course! She has also taken to calling me "ma'am." I think I may be finally developing a teacher persona in her eyes.

Another science experiment with red dye, hot water, and cold water.  It was to see if warm molecules move faster than cold molecules (the answer is yes). And I don't know what Ellioto's doing.

My biggest success of the week? After a year of cajoling, Ruby has decided to potty train herself! I'm as ecstatic as she is!

 

 

What the first week of homeschooling looks like

 Well, we did it. The first week was mostly great. We had a few bumps in the road, but that was expected by me.  I'm really glad we did "pretend" school all summer long. I think it set me up for success in the long run. So first, I'll talk about the challenges, and then the triumphs.

I think that the hardest part of homeschooling for me is not in the teaching, but my child coming to grips with having to listen to me ALL of the time. I mean, I should have kids that are obedient and listen to me always, but I don't. And since Dottie in particular has gone to school, it hasn't been such an issue, because she's gone most of the day. However, one of my goals with homeschooling is for Dottie and I to have a better working relationship. We often butt heads. And I don't like it. I don't like feeling like I nag my child most of the time that she's home. So with homeschooling, we're together all of the time, she needs to learn from me, so this bristling relationship is something we must overcome. And I know it's going to take time.

Wednesday, things came to a head. We were doing so well on Monday and Tuesday; she was happy, writing, reading, doing everything. Then I kept the kids up too late on Tuesday (they came with me to Young Women's), so Wednesday morning, I awoke to two out of three children crying. Then, learning was met with opposition every step of the way. Plus I didn't feel good, so my patience was thin. I could whine on and on. The day ended with my children being horrific at my husband's boss's change of command (an Air Force ceremony) that I had to haul them away from.

Today went much better. Dottie didn't have the TV on first thing (I've decided that the days we're doing school, the TV needs to be off completely...it is way too distracting for everyone), and she cooperated. I also worked on being less high-strung. Believe it or not, today we got the most things done.

But the triumphs? I love teaching my children. Really. I love knowing what's going on inside their heads all of the time, and I am learning things as well. It is definitely shaping me into the kind of mother I want to be: one who exhibits patience, is thrilled at her children's successes, truly takes joy in her children, but still remains well-organized and in control of things in her home.

Ruby...I'm still working on figuring out what to do with her. Serious learning takes place during her naptime. But the craft door has been decorated with stickers, the pantry has been ravaged of graham crackers, Elliot's block towers are occasionally destroyed. But she has been dancing to Wee Sing and Pretend? How long do you think that will last?

Sweet boy writing his letters.

You can't see this very well, but I'm pretty sure he has better handwriting than me. Mine is the top line, his is the bottom.

I love these geometric pattern blocks. Everyone enjoys them. Except for Ruby the Destroyer.

Zoom in, you can see what Thursday's schedule looked like. We actually stuck to it today. Dottie likes to know what we have planned every minute of the day, so this white board is perfect for her. Plus, it keeps me organized. I have a daily log saved on my computer as well of what we did that day, in case the authorities come a-knocking.

I realized that we have acquired many books since we started homeschooling. Luckily, I had this extra shelf in the garage. Ignore the middle shelf...that's just puzzles.

Those blocks are magic! This is what the kids came downstairs to do this morning instead of turning on the TV.

The curriculum from A Well-Trained Mind demands a lot of writing. Dottie is working on a letter to a friend here.

Elliot drew a picture of his favorite summer activity, I wrote the caption on lined paper, "I loved the garden at the Discovery Center," and he copied what I wrote underneath.

Making silver doubloons to trade with for an activity that goes with the history unit on Charles V and his conquests.

We're doing it

Homeschooling is on the horizon. I just need to wait to get all my books in the mail and ducks in a row. We're going to start slowly. If you want to know the approach I'm taking, read The Well-trained Mind. It's great. I'll chronicle on my blog all that I do.

Toying with the idea

This has been on my mind for years. 

We know I've never been crazy about sending my kids off to school.  It's a big pain to send them off, pick them up, have everything revolve around when/where they get out (Dottie and Elliot got out of school 45 min. apart last year. It will be the same this year. Don't ask me why).  I've always felt I could do more educationally for my children, not because the teachers were poor (although I've had my issues from time to time), but simply because there is so much wasted time in school.  Dottie especially has spent many a boring hour in school while the teacher has to discipline or she has finished her work before the others.  Don't get me wrong; I'm not criticizing education in America.  It's just the nature of the classroom. How can you possibly meet the needs of all children in a classroom of 20+ most of the time?

Then I met my friend Anya. She's homeschooled her children off and on for several years.  We've talked in length about the pros and cons.  You can individualize things to meet the needs and desires of your child.  You are more free to travel and explore. You can teach your kids some of those intrinsic things like manners and compassion that often get left out in a school education.  You can teach them the value of work. But most importantly, you can have fun. You can bond with your child. You can pay attention to your child.  

Whenever I talk to Anya on the phone, she always says at the end of the conversation, "Well, I better go. Gotta engage with these kids!" This phrase of hers really started to make me think, "Do I engage with my kids as much as they need it?" Now, of course, I don't believe in engaging with your kids 100% of the time, because you'd create a manipulative, dependent monster.  But I did start paying attention more to what I was doing with my time while my kids were home.  At the time, I was teaching piano most days of the week after school.  I did have "engagement" time with Elliot when we did Joy School with Anya's son.  But when Dottie was home, I began to notice that a lot of my time with her was spent hounding her to finish her homework, clean up her messes, not fight while I made dinner, etc. Our relationship was, "I'm the boss, you do what I say." Again, I'm not an advocate of coddling, or even trying to be best friends with your child.  There needs to be a level of authority while still maintaining a feeling of love.  And this, I believe, comes through engaging your child.

Anya uses literally all of her time with her kids teaching them something. She has come to realize that a big part of being a parent is being a teacher.  This is something she has reminded me of.  With a degree in education, I do love to teach, and I do love to learn.  And I love teaching my children.  It is truly where I find the most joy in my life.

Going through the tumor and coming out of it well made me resolve last June to be a better parent.  I felt I had been given a second chance.  I started asking people about homeschooling, gathering information on what was the best strategy.  Frankly, the homeschooling world overwhelmed me.  So Anya referred me to these books called What Every First Grader Should Know (and every grade level) and How to Teach Your Child to Read in 100 Lessons. I bought these books and other work books fully intending to give home-schooling a go last summer.

Then, I became ill.  I thought, "that's the end of that." Then, a strange thing started to happen this past spring. 4 of my close neighbors started home-schooling, all around the same time.  I called it home-schooling peer pressure.  I was quite skeptical of the whole thing, remembering a con to homeschooling Anya had talked to me about: homeschooling, in a way, is"hiding your light under a bushel." But then, my psychologist started talking to me about home-schooling! She had homeschooled her kids in the '70s, when it was even illegal in her state to do so.  My past few sessions with her weren't really counseling, but a conversation on the joys produced from homeschooling.

Knowing everything I've been through, and what still may come, she encouraged me, saying, "Your children's childhood is precious and needs to be cherished. You never get those years back." How can I not listen to that? I know my life is precious, but more so, my children's life is precious.  I don't want to waste any more time. It will not kill them to miss a few years of school; in fact, it will mean all the world to all of us.  And isn't our relationships with our families the most important thing?

So I've been toying with the idea.

We've opened up the books again this summer. I'm trying to see how it will go. Because there may be some rumbles down the road with Joe's career that would truly make homeschooling optimal.

Dottie writing. I wrote part of the story, she finished. She wrote for 3 hours straight.

My boy studying his reading book.

And this is about as exciting as we've gotten for the 4th. I'm glad...he needs a nap before those fireworks!

Dottie feeding a goat on a farm, just for fun.

 

And also just for fun, Ruby asleep on a canoe ride.

I didn't mean to get so passionate and long-winded. Again, just. toying. My kids will be going to school in the fall. Who knows what will happen after that? Thoughts?

Letter to someone who just found out they have a brain tumor

I wrote this letter this week to a friend of our family. Maybe I can talk about this now? Apparently. I want at least to help this girl before her world come crumbling down.

Hi Rebecca,

You don't know me. I'm Charlotte (Weed) Hansen. I'm a friend of the Browns, we grew up together in Pennsylvania. I remember Micah as a silly, goofy little boy with very blonde hair and very thick glasses.  I'm a year younger than Haven, who I loved for her craziness. I also was Noble's girlfriend for like a week.  Anyway, I digress. I love your family still, even if it's been years since I've seen them. They are still very dear to my heart.

When I heard about your tumor from my mom (who is still great friends with Jeannie), I knew I had to write to you.  I don't know if you feel at a place where you want to hear from me, but you can read this email whenever you feel like having someone to relate to. My aim is not to scare you, but to give you hope and comfort.

I have been through a similar thing this year, having discovered an astrocytoma tumor (the kind that has many tentacles) in my spinal cord.  Our situations are not exactly the same; I was not pregnant at the time of discovery, so I'm sure that adds a whole new level of anxiety for you.  I was still breast-feeding my third child when the tumor was found in my upper spinal cord in the vertebrae just below the brain stem. It was also not fast-growing, so I had a few weeks to wean my baby and prepare myself emotionally, which was wonderful. I spent the time cramming in as much time with my family and friends as possible. I hope you are doing the same. I also received priesthood blessings which gave me a lot of comfort, and assurance that I would heal.

From the surgery, I was told that I could end up paralyzed, or that there could be permanent nerve damage. When I woke up after surgery, I couldn't walk, I couldn't move my right hand. Strangely enough, I felt calm about it. I felt that it was temporary, and it was.  During the next several weeks of physical and occupational therapy, I regained enough sensation in my body to function, although there was still numbness. I felt blessed by the Lord and confident that I would continue to heal. The hardest part was the separation from my children, especially the estrangement from my baby. She was 13 months old and angry at me for leaving her for all of that time. It was really hard on me emotionally. 

The major trial to my faith came after radiation treatments.  Now I don't know if you'll have to go through radiation or chemo. I went through radiation because there was a small lesion connected to the tumor that was too risky to remove from surgery, as well as the doctors wanting to remove microscopic tentacles of the tumor. I felt fine for all of radiation.  Afterwards, however, I started to go more numb throughout my body. The doctors said it was probably swelling of the spinal cord and put me on a steroid.  I was on the steroid for 4 months.  Steroids are terrible drugs. I don't know if you'll have to go on them, but if you do, be prepared for craziness.  I couldn't sleep that entire time, my muscles atrophied, I was stricken with anxiety and depression. Basically all of my bodily functions became out of whack. I genuinely felt sure I was going to die. My body was also going more numb. I was so ill that my parents took my children for a month, and my husband took that month off of work to take care of me and to take me to different specialists.  

Nearly a year later, after those horrific 4 months, I am still recovering.  There is still something in my spinal cord, which my latest doctor believes is necrosis, which is dead cells from radiation. It appears to be slowly dissipating. I am still numb in many places, but I have been blessed to function to take care of my children again. During that time of high anxiety, I really turned to the Lord. Really, all that gave me comfort was reading the scriptures, praying, and getting priesthood blessings (every night).  I look back and see the extremity of my behavior, but I know that the hand of the Lord helped me through this difficult time, and that He is still helping me.  

This trial is a lesson in patience and faith. My nerves may not heal completely, but I have to count my blessings, daily.  I am so grateful to be alive and that I can take care of my kids. The Lord helps me to have patience with the physical problems I face from the surgery.  I believe that the Lord helped me discover the tumor before it was debilitating so that I can fulfill my purposes of raising my children and serving others.  I really believe this; through this trial, I know that these are the things I need to do with my life. I feel like I'm living my life with more meaning because I know my purposes; I have a testimony of them. I will do all I can, daily, to be the best I can.

I don't know if you've read this story before, but I read it a few months ago while preparing a lesson for YW. It's from a talk by Elder Ballard, about Lucy Mack Smith:

Lucy prepared herself early in her marriage to raise a prophet. On one occasion she became seriously ill, and the doctors said she would die. Lucy records that she “made a solemn covenant with God that if He would let me live I would endeavor to serve him according to the best of my abilities.” After a voice assured her that she would live, she told her mother, “the Lord will let me live, if I am faithful to the promise which I made to him, to be a comfort to my mother, my husband, and my children.” (Lucy Mack Smith, History of Joseph Smith, by His Mother, Lucy Mack Smith, ed. Preston Nibley, Salt Lake City: Bookcraft, 1979, pp. 34.)

This life is so short and precious.  We could die at any time from any number of things. Having a tumor doesn't change that.  However, the Lord will do what is best for us and for our families.  The Savior's mission is to bless us.  I don't know what the outcome will be for you, Rebecca.  Heck, I don't know what the outcome will be for me.  All we can do is live the best we can, today, everyday.  And trust that the Lord will help us and our families with whatever may come. Don't be afraid of asking others for help, you will need it. People lived with me for 3 months after the surgery.  Also, don't be afraid of getting psychological help.  I saw a psychologist who specialized in cancer patients (who happened to be Mormon...huge blessing), and she really helped me with letting go of my anxieties.  

I want you to know that I'm praying for you, and I am so sorry this is happening. Take care of yourself first, and let others temporarily take care of your babies.  You will have a chance to take care of them again, I promise.