A Very Harry Potter Party

Oh man. My life was so very busy, up until recently. We had a family reunion at my house in SA, followed immediately by a  birthday party, followed a few days later by a baby shower. And dinner with a colonel that same day. And a few days later, I flew to PA with Rubaloo to stay with my mom for 2 1/2 months. Joe is going to the same school (again) in MD for the summer.  He drove with Dottie and Elliot, they got here late last night. It's going to take me some time to get caught up with pictures, so I'm working backwards.  Here's Dottie's birthday.  It was a combined effort with my neighbors and family. Don't think I was insane enough to do it all myself. 

We sorted the kids into Houses with a baby monitor talking to them inside the Sorting Hat. They were then given these badges. They stayed in teams to go to different classes, where they played games.

 My friend Trish is very crazy. She made a great dementor. The kids dressed her up so she wouldn't be scary any more in Defense Against the Dark Arts.

 Dottie made it into Gryffindor!

 The cake! I bought it. Terrible, I know. But my family left a few hours before the party, so a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do.

 Team Gryffindor!

 I made the Sorting Hat out of an old witch hat, brown paper bags, and hot glue. Easy peasy, lemon squeezy.

 This little girl, Aurora, is in love with Elliot. The feeling is mutual.

 Ruby is insane.

 Henry is about as passionate as Dottie is for Harry. So he also dressed up.

 The other girls that helped plan the party with Dottie.

 And some of the deco.

My mom made this baptism quilt for Dottie. It's pretty amazing.

 Broomstick treats, filled with jelly bellies.

Whew! Quite a party, right? But Dottie really loves parties, and 8 is a special year.  So it was definitely worth it. The kids had a great time, even if there were a few tears from Team Slytherin.

I Am the Velveteen Rabbit (or maybe Edward Scissorhands?)

Well, I'm back. I have thought about posting again for a long time, especially when Morgan chastised me a month ago. Glad to know I have left a void in one heart.

It really is too much for me to talk about my life for the past several months. If you want, you can ask my mom. Suffice it to say I thought I was dying, and now I do not.  At least I hope I'm not dying.  But that is completely up to the Lord, as I've come to learn.

Right now, I'm just trying to live my life. Get back on track. Enjoy my kids and husband. We recently made a trip to Colorado where we visited Joe's parents, our friends the McCombs and Andersons, and Emily. While we were visiting Grandma and Grandpa Hansen, we went to a pizzeria.  The art on the wall was from the local high school students.  I remember one painting in particular, because it was Edward Scissorhands, and I loved Edward Scissorhands growing up.  Why did I love Edward Scissorhands so much as a young lass? Probably because I wanted to be Winona Ryder, and she was at the peak of her beauty in that movie.  But now, I feel like Edward Scissorhands.  My hands literally do not work very well, and it's frustrating that no one understands what I am dealing with here.  And I know Edward felt the same way.

But I am getting better at not letting my circumstances get me down.  Like Edward, I am adapting.  He became great at cutting people's hair and shaping bushes for the neighbors.  And I am trying to do the things that make me happiest: serving others and my family. Now I don't say this to sound like I'm a perfect do-gooder, because there is plenty of do-badding in my life.  I have simply found that I am truly the happiest and forget my own problems when I am actively involved in bettering others, however small my efforts may be.

In my family, I have recommitted myself to the education of my children.  Dottie is regularly practicing the piano again, after a year break.  Elliot is learning to read again, after a year break.  Along with reading with Elliot, I am also reading to him childhood classics.  The other day we read The Velveteen Rabbit. 

I haven't read The Velveteen Rabbit since I was a little girl, but as I read the book to Elliot, I was making all of these connections to my own life, crying tears into my little boy's hair.  I don't know how to express this well, so here's an excerpt.  Let's see if you get it:



"What is REAL?" asked the Rabbit one day, when they were lying side by side near the nursery fender, before Nana came to tidy the room. "Does it mean having things that buzz inside you and a stick-out handle?"

"Real isn't how you are made," said the Skin Horse. "It's a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become Real."

"Does it hurt?" asked the Rabbit.

"Sometimes," said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. "When you are Real you don't mind being hurt."

"Does it happen all at once, like being wound up," he asked, "or bit by bit?"

"It doesn't happen all at once," said the Skin Horse. "You become. It takes a long time. That's why it doesn't happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don't matter at all, because once you are Real you can't be ugly, except to people who don't understand."

"I suppose you are real?" said the Rabbit. And then he wished he had not said it, for he thought the Skin Horse might be sensitive. But the Skin Horse only smiled.  

"The Boy's Uncle made me Real," he said. "That was a great many years ago; but once you are Real you can't become unreal again. It lasts for always."
The Rabbit sighed. He thought it would be a long time before this magic called Real happened to him. He longed to become Real, to know what it felt like; and yet the idea of growing shabby and losing his eyes and whiskers was rather sad. He wished that he could become it without these uncomfortable things happening to him.

This is when the tears started, and they continued for the rest of the story.  You see? This story is really about becoming a mother.  Not just birthing a child and letting society do the rest, but really being involved with your children. So many things happen to you as a mother; you sacrifice your time, comfort, body, sleep, and sometimes, your sanity. And sometimes, you get a tumor in your spinal cord just to try you further. It is uncomfortable, as the Rabbit lamented. But it is worth it. Once you become a mother, there is no going back.  You are a happier, more fulfilled person, in spite of the sacrifice. "Once you are real, you can't be ugly, except to people who don't understand." I was so touched by this story because I feel like right now, I would do anything to continue raising my children, to be a part of the magic in their lives.  I don't care if my hair is falling out and my fingers don't work properly. This is what I am alive for: to be a mother to my children.  I know the Lord will help me and bless me for my efforts.  

At the end of the story, when the Fairy comes and turns the boy into a REAL rabbit, she says, "You were Real to the Boy, because he loved you. Now you shall be Real to everyone." I know that that is what the Lord will say to all valiant mothers.  The world will finally recognize us for who we really are, and know that we are choice daughters of our Heavenly Father because of the sacrifice of love we have made in this life.

Woo. Anyway. I know why you're really here (mom).  The pictures. Most of these are from our trip to Colorado:

 

The end of an era

On Saturday, our best friends, the McCombs, moved to Colorado Springs . This was our first super duper good friends that have moved.  I cried a lot. I don't know how you deal in the military, making great friends, and then you or them move away. In the past, I've always been the one moving, having the new place to look forward to, but it is something completely different to be the one left behind. 

It felt like saying goodbye to my college roommates all over again. Anya and I were both crying, saying how much we loved and appreciated each other. After they left, Joe took me  and the kids for a walk, in our pajamas.  I was pretty inconsolable.  I remember saying unreasonable things like, "I hate San Antonio. I just don't want to live here anymore." Joe reminded me I still have friends here(and although I will never love San Antonio, hate is a strong word).

This was our farewell feast, a 37 inch pizza from Big Lou's.  It's featured on Man vs. Food.  Our friend Brooke, Joe McCombs'  dental assistant, helped us out. She's just as sad as me. We've been consoling each other.

Have I mentioned that the McCombs lived with us this last week? They sold their house and have been living in a hotel on base for the past month. Then, they got bed bugs. Then, they tried another hotel. Anya called me, desperate one night, asking if she could come and stay. Of course! I wish they would have stayed with us the whole time.

Somehow, they didn't get sick of each other! They still came over every day when they were in the hotel. Anya watched the kids while I went to radiation. By the way, I only have 5 sessions left!

The girls have this song, "Best Friends Forever, BFFF," that they made up. An extra F is added for the extra friend. These girls now have 3 best friend necklaces that they have acquired this past year. Now that is true friendship: having 3 necklaces. Anya gave me a best friend bracelet to celebrate our friendship. Now all I need is her picture in the locket.

We love you McCombs! We can't wait to see you in August!

Birthday Girl plus Crafty?

 Last Wednesday was Dotta-lot's birthday. We kept things simple. We opened gifts, then went to Yogurt Zone with a few friends on Friday. Carrie got us addicted to frozen yogurt.

 Dottie (and Ruby's) favorite gift was Polly Pocket from Aunt Mimi. I can't believe my daughter is seven. This means she's starting to remember things. Don't you remember things from when you were seven? I guess I should start making life more memorable for her.

 And...I did a project. I got a craigslist dining room table for my birthday. My friend Jessie convinced me to reupholster the chairs with laminated cotton, and make a table cloth out of the same material. I love it. It's a child-proof material. You just wipe it down. Well, it wasn't as bad as making a Halloween costume, but it definitely tried my patience when I had to take off three layers of disgusting old material before putting on my pretty new fabric.

 You like the paisley? I do!

 The whole table.

 Table cloth fabric. Adorable, eh?

Besides this, we're doing well. Radiation is fine. I'm almost half-way done. I'm going home for two months while Joe goes to school at the end of July. Ahh. This makes me very happy. Anything to escape the Texas heat...

Goodbye Carrie, Hello Radiation

 My Carrie left today (above picture by Elliot).  She's been such a big help. I will sorely miss her. She's another person I wouldn't mind living in a commune with. She's so peaceful and kind. 

I made her stay extra long so she'd be here on my birthday, yesterday. Well. It wasn't such a joyful day. I had the worst stomach flu of my life. My kids all had the flu earlier this week, but were quickly over it. In fact, Ruby threw up yesterday morning while eating a banana in the high chair. The throw up didn't even phase her. She kept eating her banana.

Me, on the other hand, I was so sick I couldn't even stand up without being sick. I'm chalking it up to my immune system being poor from all of the trauma I've been through the past few months. Needless to say, there was no birthday cake. But I still had to go to radiation.

How is radiation? Really, it's not that bad. I lay down with my mask on for 10 minutes, then I'm done. I just started Wednesday. But I really feel like it'll be okay. I had Joe give me a blessing that I wouldn't throw up during radiation, and I didn't! It was the only time I felt somewhat okay yesterday.  The sweet staff gave me a cupcake for my birthday, which Dottie and Elliot devoured.

 The best part of my birthday was this: my friends came and redid my garden the night before my birthday.  I wish I had a"before" picture.  The transformation really is remarkable: new mulch, flowers, and trim. It may be the sweetest thing anyone has done for me.

 The rest of these are random of Carrie and children. The last is to demonstrate Ruby's undying love for shoes. She always wants to be wearing them, even with jammies on. This girl just wants to leave the house!

Carrie, I love you

 Well; here we go. What has happened in nearly a month? I'm still going therapy (for the hand), Amanda has come and gone, and my Carrie's here for a few more weeks. I'm supposedly starting radiation on the 29th, although I have yet to schedule it. I have a mask made for the radiation that covers my entire face down to my chest. I even got a small tattoo (really small; a pen dot) to help the mask be put into place properly. 

Typing and piano are still pretty poor/annoying. But it's good therapy for me to do, so I'm doing it. I am not complaining; it has gotten better.  It's just still a challenge.

I have actually been doing really well. I am starting to drive again, although my longevity isn't great. 20 minutes is about all I can handle. While Amanda was here, I got pretty proficient at making dinner.  

Until the fateful night I sliced off a chunk of my thumb on my "helpful" kitchen tool, the mandolin slicer.  Let me tell you, if you're ever having a personal crisis, Amanda is great to have around. She had such a cool head while I was sobbing, "I can't believe I did it to my good hand!" 

So. My husband got out of the father/son's campout, and took  me to the urgent care. My hand therapist was actually a little pleased that I was now mostly dependent on my right hand. It actually did help to have that handicap. The wound is now a scab. I was going to take a picture but didn't want to gross you out.

Anyway. The pictures:

My only proof that Amanda was here.  This is her son, Sawyer, future spouse of Ruby. They already have so much in common; they love to read!

 This is us with Carrie at the Japanese Gardens.

 And here begins my ode to Ruby She loves her belly button:

 And she loves taking out her hair tie, all the time. I've pretty much given up.
If she wants bangs in her eyes, so be it. Elliot took all of these photos:

 He also took this one of Carrie:

That's all I've got. Wish me luck with radiation!

What's Been Goin' On

Hi. I'm still alive. Typing is still quite the challenge.My fingers in my right hand don't want to work independently. I tried a speech recognition program, but every time I said "phone," "home," or "fun," it would take me to the home page on my browser, deleting everything I had just said. I guess that's a sign I should train myself, as painstaking as it may be, to type again. I need to do the same with the piano. So, if you've been trying to chat with me on the computer, and I've been ignoring you, this is why. Call me instead.

Woo.I need to start being more concise. My mom left over a week ago, Amanda's here, my BFF's are coming for a few days, and Carrie's coming until the beginning of June.I am still in physical and occupational therapy for one more week. Mid-May, I start radiation treatments to hopefully zap what's left of the tumor. That'll be 5 times a week for 5.5 weeks. Joe has the first two weeks of June off, so that leaves about a week and a half where it will be slightly hairy. Luckily, I have good friends here who are more than willing to help and take care of me and my family.

Yeah, pretty intense. What else can you say about radiation? The side effects sound minimal, although there is a chance for more neurological problems. But I don't think that'll happen. 

I will say this about my experiences this month.
This may very well be the hardest thing I have ever experienced. Yet, I feel so blessed. I daily record in my journal the miracles that have occurred in my life. I am amazed at my body and how quickly it can heal. I am so grateful for the capacity I have to take care of my children, since I couldn't for a time and still can't do everything. I feel so blessed to be where I am right now, to have the help I've had. Thank you, my friends, even though most of you don't read my blog. And thank you, Mom and Dad. I still cry when I think about all you have done for me; I don't know what I would do without you. This life is precious. You may think you know that, but for me it took a rather intense trial to realize what I have.

Sorry no pictures. I can't help it. Someday I'll start taking pictures again.